Remember The Way You Loved Me
by My Name Is Barry Allen
Summary: [Post 4.9] Felicity wakes up in the hospital, she doesn't remember the accident, she doesn't remember Star City, she remembers being a troubled teen in Vegas. After the accident she's shut herself from the pain and the hurt, her mind has regressed to when she felt safe, when life didn't feel so hard. Can Oliver get his Felicity back? [Lots of Momma Smoak, Fluff and Angst]
1. Chapter 1

**Remember The Way You Loved Me**

 **Prologue**

Oliver paced the small hospital room for what was probably the thousandth time, he had the small room mapped out, he knew twenty steps to the right he would be at the door, then to the left twenty steps he would be at the window, looking out at the city, his city. Then five steps forward from the wall he would be at the bed. Felicity's bed. Felicity was sleeping, that what it looked like. He couldn't say coma. Felicity was sleeping and she would wake up soon. The doctors were positive, she had healed well from all of the scans that she had been through. The bullet wounds were healing nicely, both of them missing vital organs, one had damaged her shoulder, she wouldn't be able to type frantically at keyboards anytime soon, her arm would be in a sling once she woke up. The doctor said it was up to Felicity now, she would wake up when she's ready. Oliver just didn't think he could wait any longer. Two weeks without seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, hearing her endless babbled… Two weeks without Felicity was killing him.

-X-

"She'll wake up soon." Donna whispered as she sat by her daughter's bedside, she took hold of her hand and played with her fingers a little.

"She will." Oliver nodded, he was pacing again. He had to do something, he couldn't just sit and do nothing, but he couldn't leave the room either. Between him and Donna someone was always with her, they took it in turns to go home, in Donna's case home was the loft, she had been staying there since it happened. She couldn't go back to Vegas. Her daughter needed her. "She's strong."

"She is." Donna breathed. This was a daily reassurance for both of them. "When she was five she had to stay in hospital for a week."

"What happened?" Oliver asked.

"She caught a virus at school, it was horrible. She couldn't eat, she was constantly in pain and had this ridiculously high fever. I remember thinking it wasn't fair, why did my daughter have to be the one to suffer so much, the other kids at school had it for two days, nothing as serious as her. I'll never forget what she said when she saw me crying, she said 'I don't mind being at the hospital mom. The other girls wanted to go to the school party. I didn't. I'm okay here with you'"

Oliver smiled small and looked at his sleeping Felicity, "that sounds like Felicity." Oliver breathed and finally took a seat on the other side of Donna.

"She'll wake up soon and then you'll both get what you deserve. Your happy ever after." Donna smiled and reached across and took hold of Oliver's hand and that's how they spent the rest of the afternoon - just waiting. Waiting for Felicity to wake up. Waiting for their lives to start again.

-X-

When Felicity finally wakes up, Donna is by her side. She's reading a magazine - one she had probably read a dozen times already that night, but she's there and she's talking to Felicity about the dresses and any little thing that comes to mind. Felicity's eyes blink a little and as she stirs a whimper escapes her lips, just a small, barely audible whimper but Donna hears it loud and clear and she turns to her daughter and everything feels better when she sees those beautiful blue eyes blinking up at her.

"Mom?" Felicity whispers and looks around, she winces straight away and tries to find her surroundings but she doesn't recognise anything and the panic sets in.

"I'm here baby. I'm here. You're okay. You're safe now." She says gently and presses the call button half a dozen times. "You're awake. You're finally awake. I can't wait to tell Oliver. He's going to be so happy. You're awake." She gushed and Felicity frowned as she looked up at her Mom, confusion all over her face.

"Oliver?" Felicity whispered.

"I'll call him now. He'll be here straight away." Donna said stroking her cheek.

"Mom… Who's Oliver? Where am I?" Felicity asked and Donna stared at her daughter in shock, Felicity was awake and talking, but the Felicity staring at her wasn't the Felicity that got shot, this wasn't Oliver's' Felicity.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

"What do you mean she doesn't remember?" Donna asked as her eyes found her daughter who was once again sleeping. Oliver doing the same. They were standing outside her room looking through the window talking to her doctor, neither one wanting to have the conversation in the room to scare or disturb her. But being away from her was killing Oliver.

"It's not that she doesn't remember, it's that she is regressing from it. Sometimes when traumatic things happen to us we block it out. That's what she's doing." The doctor said gently. "From all of the scans that we have done now that she's awake they have all come back completely clear. No blessings, or swelling around the brain which tells us that this is more of a psychological issue rather than a physical one."

"Felicity's been through a lot, she's strong." Oliver said through gritted teeth, he didn't miss the confused look Donna sent him; just what had her daughter been through? She would tell to Oliver about t later.

"Everyone has a breaking point Mr Queen." It wasn't a harsh comment, it was a small statement but it cut Oliver to pieces. "But I have seen many cases like this and in most cases it is temporary."

"Most cases." Donna breathed.

"There is no reason why Felicity won't remember, it's just going to take time. At the moment I would advise you not to tell her what happened. Of course she is asking why she is in hospital I would suggest saying a mugging or something similar."

"I agree. I don't want to scare her even more." Donna said and Oliver just nodded. All he could think about was the doctor's comment about everyone having a breaking point. Was this really Felicity's?

"I would say slowly ease her back into her life, show her pictures. Talk to her. They will help with the memories. From what she has spoken to you about do you know how far back her mind is right now?" The doctor looked at Donna and Oliver's eyes followed slowly.

"She didn't really say much, but she seemed… Younger." Donna said slowly, unsure if it was really the right way. "She just looked at me like she used to when she was growing up." She added in a way of explanation.

"In many cases when their mind regresses behaviour does too, for example if her memories have taken her back to when she was in school she will have that personality and mindset." The doctor said, her voice staying so soft Oliver knew it was meant to be comforting. But to him, it wasn't. Nothing could comfort him right now.

"But she'll get better…" Donna said almost to herself.

"Yes. I believe strongly that she will. I'll advise that she stays here a couple of days for observation. Physically she is healing nicely so it's just for precaution. We can also have a therapist who specialises in this area observe her and start a few sessions. Then when she is discharged we can set up some more sessions. When her memories do start coming back she will need them to talk about how she is feeling."

"Okay." Donna and Oliver said softly at the same time.

"I'll leave you two to be with her. Try not to overwhelm her right now." The doctor gave Donna a gentle squeeze on the shoulder "if you need anything just call okay?" Donna nodded in thanks and watched as she walked away.

"At least she's awake and she's going to be okay." Donna whispered as she looked at Oliver's broken expression.

"She doesn't remember me or the life she's built for herself here. How… How can I know that she's awake and okay if I feel in my heart that I've lost her?"

"Oh Oliver." Donna walked over and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, a little surprised at how he clung to her. Over the past few weeks any physical contact she had initiated with Oliver he had flinched away from, but here he was clinging to her as if he was trying to latch onto anything that reminded him of his Felicity. "You listen to me," she said as she pulled away and cupped his face in her hands making him look directly at her. "She is still Felicity. We just need to help her find the girl you remember."

"What if…"

"We will find her. She said to me that she had felt like she'd lost herself in you…"

"And she said she found herself in us." Oliver breathed. "That we both found ourselves in each other."

"Then find her." Donna smiled tearfully. Oliver just nodded. He'd do anything he could to get Felicity back, no matter what and no matter how long it took.

-X-

"Mom?" Felicity breathed as she tried to sit up, she had just woken up from what felt like the worst nightmare and now her whole body ached.

"I'm here sweetie. How are you feeling?" Donna asked as she reached forward and held her hand tightly, relief running through her when she felt her daughter squeeze her hand back.

"A bit sore. And my head hurts." Felicity sighed looking down. "I'm in the hospital?"

"Yeah baby. Yeah… You are." Donna pressed gently. "You were mugged."

"Mugged?" Felicity frowned. "I feel like I've been run over by a truck."

"I know sweetie." Donna said stroking her hair. "Baby when you… Got mugged. You hit your head so your memory it isn't…"

"What do you mean?" Felicity frowned when she stopped talking. "Mom."

"Tell me what the last thing you remember is sweetie. The last clear memory you have." Donna said sucking on her lip nervously.

Felicity looked down, her eyes deep with thought and she looked up slowly after a few moments. Her mother's patient gaze on her. "Winning first place on my science project. I built a working computer made with recycled parts…" Donna's eyes went wide and she nodded slowly. "How… That's not…"

"That was a long time ago honey." Donna said softly. "But we will help you get your memories back."

"How long?" Felicity asked quietly.

"You were fifteen when you made that." Donna said softly. "You're twenty five now."

"Twenty… Ten years." Felicity breathed. "I don't remember ten years?"

"You'll remember." Donna said softly and leaned forward and pressed her lips to Felicity's forehead. "I promise you. You'll remember." Felicity just nodded and wrapped her arms around her, she didn't care how it made her body ache. She just needed to feel safe.

When Felicity pulled back from the hug Donna stroked her cheek softly. "You're going to be okay. Why don't you rest up, you'll be going home in a few days."

"Okay." Felicity said quietly. "Mom why don't you go and get some sleep. I'll be okay for a few hours."

"I don't want to leave you." Donna said softly.

"I'll be okay." Felicity sighed. "Just a few hours."

"Okay." Donna said reluctantly. "I'll bring you some things too."

"Kay." Felicity sucked her lip and looked down slowly. "Love you Mom."

"Love you too she said and kissed her hair again. She took one last look at Felicity as she settled back against the bed before she walked out.

"Is she okay?" Oliver who had been sitting on a fold out chair outside her room stood up as Donna left the room.

"Her last memory… Was 10 years ago." Donna said and rubbed her eyes tiredly. "She said for me to go and sleep. I told her she was mugged. She… She didn't say she believed me or not. She probably doesn't."

"Fifteen?" Oliver breathed. "She must be so scared."

"She's strong. She'll be okay." Oliver said softly he had to believe that. Had to believe that she was going to be okay. That she would remember. "I'll stay here. Make sure she's okay."

"You should go in. Talk to her." Donna said softly.

"Maybe." Oliver looked down. "Go and rest. I'll call you if she needs you."

"Thank you." Donna said and squeezed his hand before walking out of the hospital slowly.

-X-

Felicity tossed and turned on the bed, she couldn't get comfortable, her Mom had left an hour ago and she had instantly regretted it. She didn't want to be on her own. She looked out towards the door and spotted a man pacing. He had been pacing outside the room for a while now, every now and again he would look in and then turn away quickly. Felicity didn't know who he was, did she know him? Feeling restless she stood up slowly and kicked her legs on the side of the bed, slowly she unhooked the IV from her arm and ignored the beeping noise it created, she just stood up shakily and held onto the bed for support. Her legs were longer. Ten years. She had grown, was taller than she remembers being. Standing up and taking steps was weird, like she was wearing her mom's heels, something she never did of course. Heels and dresses wasn't her.

She made it to the door and Felicity felt proud of herself, yes it took a while but still she had done it. She reached forward and turned the handle pulling the door open. She took a step outside and sighed, she didn't know what to do now.

"Felicity…" An unfamiliar voice called and she turned her head and saw the man staring at her in shock. "You shouldn't be out of bed."

"I was… I was bored of…" Felicity looked down, she didn't know what to do or say now. She wanted her Mom.

"It's okay," Oliver said softly as he noticed her panicking. "I get hospitals suck. We can grab a TV for your room, or get you some things."

Felicity just nodded and turned her head, she reached out to the door and lost her balance but before she could fall he was there holding her upright. "Thanks." Felicity frowned.

"Come on. Let's get you back to bed and I'll find a TV for you." Oliver said gently and Felicity just nodded slowly and let the stranger help her to bed. "Attach your drip back okay?"

"I don't like it." Felicity whispered.

"I know but it's keeping you strong." Oliver replied soothingly and he was pleased to see her pick the drip up and attach it back.

"Thank you." Oliver whispered. Felicity just shrugged and stared blankly at him. "I'll go and find that TV." Felicity nodded softly and watched him go.

Oliver walked out of the room and leaned against the wall. Felicity was up and talking to him. She didn't know him but she was talking to him, letting him help her. He didn't know what he had expected, not really. But he was glad that Felicity wasn't scared of him, or at least she didn't seem like she was. Maybe getting his Felicity back wouldn't be so hard. With a small smile he went to the nurses station to find out about getting a portable television to keep Felicity entertained. That would be step one in getting Felicity to trust him.


	3. Chapter 3

"I don't even know what I'm watching." Felicity huffed as she stared at the television in front of her. Oliver was sat on the chair beside her, they had sat in a comfortable silence for almost an hour. Every now and again felicity would turn and look at him as though she was wanting to say something but she turned before she did. Oliver couldn't help but keep looking at her. She was his felicity, she looked like her and frowned her eyebrows just like his Felicity would. But there was something missing, there was something different. Her eyes weren't as confident, she wasn't as chatty and she kept on fiddling with her fingers in a nervous habit.

"You're not really into television." Oliver said gently. "Even if you could remember, I don't think you would know what you're watching."

"Oh." Felicity nodded slowly and looked back at Oliver again.

"You like films though." Oliver added, he smiled thinking back to their time away when she had introduced him to all of the Harry Potter films, he hadn't been too interested in them, but he loved the way her eyes lit up at the characters or the way she would clutch at his shirt when the evil characters came on.

"I do like films." Felicity nodded and sucked on her lip. "I really like this film, it's about a girl who finds this monkey…"

"Oh baby you're awake." Felicity looked up as her Mom walked in and Oliver sighed quietly, this Felicity was just starting to talk to him, to open up. He would definitely make a point later to finish the conversation. He turned to felicity to watch her moms arrival and he frowned when he realised she didn't look too happy to see her.

"I couldn't sleep." Felicity sighed. "The hospital is too noisy."

"I know baby. But the doctor said you'll be coming home soon."

"Home? Vegas?" Felicity asked her eyes lighting up a little.

"No sweetie. Vegas isn't your home now. You live in Starling City." Felicity just looked down, Oliver could have sworn she had mumbled where's that and he couldn't help but feel for her. She was stuck in a place she didn't know, with people who she didn't know. She must be terrified. "It wouldn't make sense to take you there now, you'll need to come for regular checkups and appointments here. So we will stay and then when you're feeling better we can go?"

"Sure." Felicity sighed reaching up and rubbing her trembles.

"Baby do you need a doctor?" Donna asked quickly and Felicity just shook her head.

Oliver reached forward and grabbed her glasses from the cabinet and handed them to her. "Put these on."

Felicity nodded slowly and put them on, she still rubbed against her temples but Oliver could see her relax more as she did. "Thank you." Felicity whispered and she turned away from her Mom and fixed her eyes on the screen, leaving Oliver looking at her a little confused and her Mom a little hurt.

"Do you need anything sweetie?" Donna asked as she approached.

"I'm tired. I think I just want to sleep." Felicity said and pulled the itchy blanket up a little.

"Okay." Donna said in defeat. "Oh. I brought you some things."

"Just leave them there." Felicity sighed and waved her arm dismissively.

"Okay." Donna whispered and she turned on her heel and walked out of the room.

"Felicity…" Oliver frowned.

"I'm tired." Felicity cut off. "Can you leave now?"

"Sure. I'll...I'll be outside if you need anything okay?" Oliver said standing up. Felicity just nodded weakly and cuddled into the blanket a little more, it wasn't until the door closed that Felicity let the first of her tears fall.

-x-

"She hates me." Donna said quietly as she sat down on the chair outside Felicity's room.

"No, she doesn't." Oliver bent down and took her hands in his. "She's so scared and confused right now, Donna. That's all."

"She's in...When she was fifteen, we...She hated me. Told me daily." Oliver frowned, that didn't sound like Felicity at all. "We're so different, and I...I tried to get her to be more like me...but she…"

"She doesn't hate you." Oliver gave her hand a little squeeze. "She's your daughter and she loves you but she is so scared and confused, just be there for her, but not too much okay?"

"I was a bit much?" Donna smiled a watery smile and quickly wiped her eyes.

"Just a little." Oliver said and sat beside her, his hand still on hers.

"I'll try." Donna said and leaned in against him, Oliver moved his hand and wrapped an arm around her. Being strong and an anchor for Donna was keeping him distracted from his own thoughts and worries.

-x-

Felicity woke up in the morning and for the first time since waking up in the hospital she felt a little better, her body wasn't as stiff and her head was a little clearer. She still felt like she was missing something, but she believed the doctor's when they told her that everything would come back to her. She of course didn't understand why her mind was a fifteen year old and she felt that way when her body was clearly older, it confused her and hurt her head a little but she couldn't dwell on it.

"How are you feeling?" Her Doctor, Samantha smiled. "You have a little more colour in your cheeks."

"I'm actually feeling okay." Felicity nodded and sat up a little.

"I heard about your little walk yesterday." Samantha smiled as she checked her charts.

"I couldn't sit still. I just got to the door…"

"Before you got dizzy and needed to go back to bed?"

"Yes." Felicity sighed and looked down feeling a little guilty.

"It's okay. When i was seventeen I went out clubbing one night, wore heels that were a little too high for me, fell down some steps and broke my ankle in three places. I was told stay in my hospital bed for a few days to let it set, after day one I insisted I was okay and stood up…"

"What happened?" Felicity asked with a small smile.

"I stood up, went to go to the window for some air and slipped. I ended up landing on my wrist and spraining it."

Felicity looked up and she couldn't help but laugh, she was glad that Samantha started to laugh too, she didn't want to be rude. "I get it. I'll listen."

"Well actually I think today you might be okay enough to go home. Your wounds are healing really nicely, your blood pressure if great, and you're scans are all clear."

"I can go?" Felicity asked.

"Yes." She nodded and sat on the edge of her bed. "But only if you want to. You'll be staying at a place that this side of you is not familiar with, I want you to feel comfortable."

"I...My Mom says she'll stay. So I won't be on my own." Felicity smiled.

"I know. She loves you very much, she hasn't left your side that much since you've been here." Felicity looked down again, she had been so horrible to her last night. "It's okay to go through these mood swings. You must be really confused."

"Yeah." Felicity sighed. "I...I was watching TV with Oliver, and it just...I don't know what I like to watch. I don't know what my favourite movie is."

"Sure you do." Samantha said softly. "What's your favourite film? Don't think about it. Just say."

"Monkey Trouble." Felicity shrugged.

"Why?"

"Because I remember when I had chicken pox it was on and me and my mum watched it, and it was the first time in a long time that she had spent so long just sitting with me. I liked that."

"See you do remember. No one is expecting you to be someone you don't remember, Felicity. If Oliver and your Mom speak to you, don't try and force a different reaction. Just be you."

"Okay." Felicity whispered and smiled shyly. "Thank you."

"It's okay. Now, I am happy for you to go home, but I would like someone to come and talk to you, just to see where your mind is. And you'll come back every other day for a session…"

"A psychiatrist?" Felicity frowned.

"Not so much a psychiatrist but someone who has a lot of experience with mental regression and who can help you with where you need to be."

"Can...Can i come and see you too?" Felicity asked quietly.

"I'd be upset if you didn't." Samantha smiled and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you." Felicity whispered.

"Now, I'm going to go and organise this appointment. Oliver is outside...want me to get him to come in and keep you company?"

"Is my Mom…?"

"She is but she's fast asleep on the chair."

"Oh." Felicity said quietly.

"I'll go and get him." Samantha smiled and walked out, just a few minutes later Oliver walked into the room.

"You're coming home today?" Oliver smiled as he walked in.

"I guess." Felicity whispered. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

"Don't worry about it. But maybe talk to your Mom when she wakes up?" Oliver suggested.

"Okay." Felicity nodded. "Oliver, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Oliver walked over and sat down on the chair beside her bed.

"What...How do I know you?" Felicity asked, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

Oliver looked up at those wide blue eyes and sighed softly. "You're my best friend, Felicity." Oliver said truthfully, "You're the person that I trust most in this world, and that's why I'm going to be here for you, every step of the way okay?"

"Okay." Felicity said quietly, her breath catching in her chest at Oliver's response, she really hadn't been expecting that. "I wish I could remember you."

"You will."Oliver smiled. "I know you will."


	4. Chapter 4

Doctor Walker wasn't as nice as Samantha. Felicity didn't not like him but he spoke about things that she just really did not understand. He wasn't cruel or mean and he spoke calmly, she felt like he was talking to a small child instead of a teenager, or adult, she really wasn't too sure what she was. But the session was a good one because at the end of the hour she got the green light to go home. Doctor Walker handed her a purple notebook and asked her to write a diary, it would help to clear her head a little and she nodded slowly, she really wasn't the diary writing girl but she took it to humour him. They made an appointment for the day after tomorrow and Felicity watched him leave with a smile on her face.

"How did it go?" Her Mom asked as she walked in once Doctor Walker had left.

"Okay. I can go home." Felicity said softly, she still felt so bad about how she had spoken and treated her Mom earlier. "Sorry for…"

"Don't worry. I hate seeing you so… And I just felt a little useless. I went into mother hen mode."

"How about you just stay to Mom mode?" Felicity asked and reached her hand out to her.

"I think I can do that." Donna grinned and wrapped her in a hug. "Only if you promise to be honest with me about how you're feeling and if you need anything. Speak to me or Oliver okay? We are here for you."

"Okay." Felicity smiled. "I can do that."

"That's my girl." Donna said with a smile. "Now, how about we get you dressed and then we can go home. Oliver is an amazing cook…"

"I'm not feeling very hungry, but maybe for dinner." Felicity smiled softly.

"Okay." Donna hummed and she pressed another kiss to her forehead. "I've brought you some clothes. Do you want some help getting dressed?"

"I can do it." Felicity smiled softly. "When we get home can I have a bath? I'm feeling really gross."

"Course you can." She nodded. "The bathroom at your loft is amazing. Your bath is more like a swimming pool." She winked.

"Really?" Felicity frowned.

"Really." Donna smiled. "Me and Oliver will go and get your things ready. Go get dressed if you need anything just shout."

"Thanks Mom." Felicity said with a soft smile and she slowly got herself out of bed and walked to the bathroom. She saw Oliver staring at her through the window and smiled at him, everything about him confused her but she couldn't deny that she did feel calmer around him. Walking into the bathroom felicity quickly went about getting changed. She pulled off the gown and slipped on the pink bra and panties set her mother had brought for her. That would take some getting used to, she thought to herself as she tugged at the bra. When had she stopped wearing boxer briefs and replaced them with lace things? She shook her head and grabbed the jeans and pulled them on, groaning slightly - they were a lot tighter than she was used to. Next she pulled on the purple blouse and shrugged, at least that was kind of normal for her, though it was a bit bright. Grabbing the brush from the bottom of the bag she walked to the mirror. She didn't recognise herself at all. Who was this woman staring back at her? She raised a hand and gasped when she saw the reflection do the same. Of course it was her. She felt her eyes water as she pulled at her very blond hair. Who had she become? She brushed her hair roughly, not caring that it sent a little pain through her head, she was relieved to feel that it actually was her. She brushed it into a messy bun and washed her face, when she looked back at the mirror she had almost hoped that when she looked back in the mirror, she would see the face she remembered. The slightly spotty, brunette self. Not this flawless blonde. She closed her eyes not surprised to feel tears against her eyelids and on her cheeks.

"Felicity…" Felicity jumped when she heard Oliver's voice and then a light tap at the door. "Are you okay? You've been in there a while."

"I'm coming." Felicity breathed and wiped her eyes quickly. She didn't look back in the mirror, she just tugged at her blouse and walked towards the door and opened it. "Sorry…"

"I should have realised you hadn't looked in the mirror. I...I wanted to be there." Oliver said bowing his head with a guilty look in his eye.

"It's okay." Felicity shrugged.

"It's not. You must be…"

"Freaked out?" Felicity offered.

"Confused." Oliver countered.

"I'm actually getting used to feeling confused. How freaky is that?" Felicity smiled and Oliver recognised the smile - it was the I'm pretending to be fine smile, don't ask any questions. Oliver just nodded softly, he wouldn't press the issue, not yet anyway. But he would watch her carefully, and be there when she needs him.

The drive home was quiet. Felicity sat in the back seat looking out of the window taking in all of the sights that were so new to her. Donna kept on looking at her through the mirror, Oliver knew she was waiting for any signs of a breakdown, he knew it was because she cared but Oliver could also tell that it was annoying the hell out of Felicity who kept on grunting every time she spotted her. But she bit her tongue and didn't say anything, Oliver could tell it wouldn't have lasted much longer so he was glad once he pulled up at the loft. Oliver got out first and headed over to Donna's side and opened the door for her, he ignored the comment about him being a gentleman and then rushed over to Felicity's side and opened her door.

"I live here?" Felicity whispered looking up at the building with wide eyes.

"You do. It's a step up from where we used to live on the strip huh?" Donna grinned, Felicity nodded slowly and followed Oliver in. Her head was beginning to hurt with all of the changes. She didn't really take in any of the apartment, she just kept her head down and focused on where Oliver was leading her.

"I'll take you to your room, you look exhausted, it's been the longest you've been out of bed in a while."

"Okay." Felicity breathed and looked up when Oliver finally stopped in a large bedroom. She looked around slowly and smiled up at Oliver. "It's nice...It's...different from what my room looks like...looked like…"

"It's nice. You picked out the furniture and things." Oliver shrugged. "Your old house, before you moved in here with me...well it was a lot brighter."

"Brighter?" Felicity frowned and sat down on the bed.

"Yes." Oliver smiled. "I take it you don't really do bright colours?"

"No. They're too cheery. I don't have much to be cheery about." Felicity shrugged and Oliver's heart broke. What did that mean? What had happened in Felicity's childhood for her to feel so dark? "I'm really tired. Can i sleep?"

"Of course. I'm going to be sleeping in the front room, so I'll be there if you need me. And your Mom she's going to sleep in the spare room. You can have this room to yourself. Your mom insisted that you two share a room but I thought you might want some space."

"Thank you." Felicity whispered and looked at the bed, did that mean she shared this bed with Oliver? She blushed a little at the thought and didn't look back up at Oliver.

"Are you hungry?" Oliver asked as he walked to the door.

"No." Felicity said and pulled the comforter over her shoulders, almost hiding her face.

"Okay. If you need anything…"

"Kay." Felicity whispered and turned away from Oliver, she fell into a deep sleep before Oliver even closed the door behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

"How is she?" Donna asked as Oliver walked back downstairs.

"Said she's tired. I think she's overwhelmed. But I know that she's going to get through this." Oliver smiled and sat down beside her.

"How can you be so sure?" Donna sighed.

"Because she has us." Oliver reached out and squeezed her hand. "When I came back from the island, I didn't know anything about this life and what I missed. I was angry and confused and wasn't too sure just what to do." Oliver looked down leaving out the bit about becoming the hooded vigilante and taking all of his anger out on everyone around him. "But I got through it. I had people around me that helped."

"You're strong." Donna said quietly.

"So is Felicity." Oliver promised. "So is she."

Felicity woke up an hour or so later, her body didn't ache and she was finally feeling used to being in this body. In her body. She sat up and pulled at her headband and let her hair go down to her shoulders. She sighed and fiddled with it a little bit. Blonde hair was still just so weird to her. Who had she grown up to be? Looking around the room she decided she might as well try and find out. She stood up slowly and walked to the rather large closet, opening it she instantly pulled a face at the amounts of colourful dresses that were hanging up. She hated dresses. Her mom was always trying to get her to wear dresses and she hated it. She was more comfortable in jeans and jumpers. Next to the dresses were shirts and she frowned. They must be Oliver's. Feeling a little freaked out that she shared a closet with a man. Well with Oliver. She quickly closed it and turned to the bedside cabinet. Walking towards if she wondered if this was counted as snooping. Technically it is her things that she's snooping through so it was okay. She opened the draw and spotted a notebook and flipped through it. Just random bits of computer codes. Finally something familiar she recognised. She put it on top deciding to look through it later and looked back down to the draw, her face instantly burning pink when she saw a box of condoms. She looked at the bed that she had just been napping in and groaned quietly. She wasn't naive. She had put two and two together and of course she had got four. But she didn't want to think about her and Oliver being… Intimate. Walking back to the closet Felicity grabbed a pair of pyjama bottoms - purple seemed to be the darkest colour she owned. She pulled them on with the navy MIT tee and smiled. Looked like she made it to her dream college. She ran her fingers over the letters on the tee and pulled on some fluffy socks and decided she would go downstairs. She wanted to find out more about herself and she wouldn't find it In this room.

Oliver was sitting on the sofa on the phone, "She's asleep right now… I don't know, she seems like my Felicity… She looks… But she's not. She's like a completely different person…Donna is freaking out… Yeah I know she cares but it's not what Felicity needs… I know… I just… I'll come by later. I need to… She'll be okay… I'll think about it… Okay." Oliver ended the call and looked up as he heard footsteps on the stairs. He smiled when he saw Felicity walk down towards him in her pyjamas. Her hair was down and she looked so relaxed and casual.

"Hey," Oliver smiled trying not to think about the last time Felicity wore those pyjamas and how they had enjoyed a lazy weekend on the sofa together.

"Hi." Felicity said and the second she saw Oliver she felt her cheeks blush again. She shook her head trying to keep herself from thinking about what she saw in the bedroom. "Where's my mom?"

"She went to the store. Said that you would need more familiar things. I think she just wanted some air." Oliver said honestly.

"Oh. Okay." Felicity nodded and sat down on the armchair, her legs tucking under her.

"How did you sleep?" Oliver asked feeling a need to fill the silence.

"Yeah I slept okay." Felicity nodded. "I feel better. I think maybe sleeping on an actual bed was what I needed."

"Well I'm glad. I'm going to start making dinner soon." Oliver smiled, Felicity nodded but looked down, she wrapped her arms around herself and chewed on her lip. "Unless you want to help?"

"I'm not hungry." Felicity whispered.

"Okay well we can make it and you can have some when you feel up to it." Oliver pressed gently and Felicity just nodded slowly.

"Can I help?" Felicity asked quietly.

"Of course." Oliver grinned and stood up. Felicity stood up and followed him through to the large kitchen.

"Woah." Felicity breathed as she looked around. "This is bigger than my house. Well my old house I guess."

"That's what you said the first time you saw this place." Oliver grinned and Felicity smiled, that seemed to relax her a little. "How about Mac and cheese?"

"That's my…"

"Favourite." Oliver and Felicity said the last word together and Felicity grinned at him, it wasn't a grin Oliver was used to - Felicity smiled, but it was always a loving or a soft genuine smile, this grin was youthful and exciting and Oliver couldn't help but grin back. "Do you want me to add anything to it or just simple Mac and cheese?"

"Have you got any potato chips?" Felicity asked.

"Yes… You stack up every time you're at the store. Top cupboard." Oliver pointed. Felicity nodded and grabbed a packet of cheese and onion flavour. "I thought you weren't hungry."

"I'm not. This is for the Mac and cheese." Felicity grinned, she rolled her eyes when Oliver raised an eyebrow at her. "For the top. Before you put it in the oven you put these on top. It's like a secret ingredient. Well that's what my dad always said to me…"

"Well I will definitely try it." Oliver smiled.

"Awesome." Felicity smiled and started to crush the chips in the packet. "I like computers?" Felicity asked once the silence was becoming too much.

"You love computers. You worked as an IT tech, that's how we met." Oliver smiled softly, he remembered their first meeting, the way she had the red pen between her lips and the way she rambled. Had it been love at first sight? He wasn't sure the Oliver he was back then was capable of this kind of love.

"Do you like computers?" Felicity asked watching him closely.

"No. I can get by on them. You always tease me." Oliver said with a pout.

"You said worked. What do I do now?" Felicity asked, she jumped up on the side and kicked her legs idly. Something his Felicity did a lot, he smiled at the familiar action.

"You are CEO of Palmer Tech," Oliver said proudly.

"Woah." Felicity's eyes went wide and she smiled softly. "No wonder we have an awesome house."

"You're really great at what you do." Oliver smiled. "Anything else?" Oliver asked playfully.

"Sorry I'm being annoying." Felicity mumbled looking down. Oliver instantly kicked himself, Felicity was just starting to feel confident around him to ask questions and he had knocked her confidence.

"Hey, I was just joking. You are definitely not annoying. Ask me anything okay. I'm learning new things too."

"Like what?" Felicity frowned.

"Well the Felicity I know would never have told me the secret ingredient to Mac and cheese." Oliver winked and Felicity giggled softly. "But I mean it. You're not annoying. I want you to ask things."

"You'll tell me to stop if I get too much? My Mom says I take after her when it comes to me not being able to shut up. Says i have a constant case of verbal diarrhoea." Felicity scrunches her nose adorable and Oliver chuckles again.

"You don't outgrow that." Oliver smirked and Felicity crossed her arms with a pout. "So… Questions?"

"Erm." Felicity sucked on her bottom lip looking around the room. "Who was on the phone? You were talking when i came down…"

"Diggle. He's one of your best friends." Oliver smiled. Felicity nodded slowly. "Tell me about your friends?"

"Huh?" Felicity frowned.

"The friends you are remembering." Oliver pressed lightly.

"Oh." Felicity shrugged. "I...I guess there's Kelly. She's…" Felicity looked down. "I don't really…"

"That's okay. I know when you go to college you make friends." Oliver promises, Felicity looks up at him slowly and smiles a small smile.

"I have a few people that I talk to. I...I tutor someone, but that's just to get a little pocket money." Felicity shrugs. "I'm not sad and lonely."

"Didn't say you were." Oliver smiles and looks up at her. "Coming to help make the sauce?" Felicity nods a little glad of the distraction, she jumped down and stood beside Oliver and started to mix the sauce, they fell into easy conversation laughing softly with each other. That's how Donna found them half an hour later and as she watched them she found it hard to believe that this wasn't normal, this was just what she remembered Oliver and Felicity being like before the accident - laughing and playful. She felt a sad twinge in her heart when she realised this was completely different. She was so proud of Oliver for handling it so gently, she just wished she could be as strong as him. She wished she could be strong so she could be there for Felicity too.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 4

Oliver was surprised at how calm dinner was; he wasn't too sure what he had expected but he thought maybe there would have been something between Donna and Felicity, things hadn't exactly been smooth sailing in their relationship and he was certain that teenage Felicity had a lot of angst towards her Mom. But none of that showed. Donna spoke a little about Vegas and how everyone was and Felicity listened and nodded in the right places as she picked at her mac and cheese. Oliver had been pleasantly surprised when he had tried the food with Felicity's 'secret ingredient' and had told her how nice he found it - that was when he received such a Felicity smile that he still had butterflies and dinner was almost over.

"You should eat more honey," Donna said once herself and Oliver had finished and Felicity was standing up to put her plate away, she still had a majority of the food on her plate.

"I'm not hungry." Felicity shrugged. "If I'm hungry later I'll eat some more." Felicity put it on the counter in the kitchen and covering it with another plate, she then started to busy herself in tidying up.

"I'll do it sweetie, you should rest." Donna said softly. "It's your first day out and about, don't push yourself…"

"I'm fine Mom. I haven't really done much. I just want to keep busy." Felicity said and Oliver could tell that she was biting her tongue to make her comment soft and not a snap. He was proud of her.

"Okay." Donna said reluctantly and stood back watching her shyly. Oliver gave Donna a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and she turned to look at him. "I'll go and get the things I brought. We can look at them once you're done cleaning."

"Okay." Felicity breathed. "Thanks. Mom." She added and Oliver smiled at the way Donna seemed to relax a little more. Donna nodded and headed out to the living room.

"She's trying." Oliver said softly from behind Felicity, he stood beside her and started to help her tidy up - not that there was much to do.

"I know. I'm just not used to it." Felicity sighed and Oliver frowned, what did she mean? He wanted to ask but his phone started to ring.

"Sorry." Oliver said and pulled his phone from his pocket. "Dig, can I call...You did...What? Okay I'll be right there...Yeah...I'll...Okay. Five minutes." Oliver ended the call and looked down at Felicity who was looking up with wide eyes.

"You have to go?" Felicity asked quietly.

"I won't be long." Oliver promised.

"It's fine." Felicity shrugged and turned away from him. Oliver hated that she had turned away from him like that, he knew she was just trying to block it out but it hurt.

"I'll be back. maybe we can watch a film or something?" Oliver asked and he just received a shrug of her shoulders in return. Oliver walked out to Donna and saw she had laid some clothes and books and magazines out on the table for Felicity and smiled. Donna was really trying. "I have to head out."

"What? Is everything okay?" Donna asked. Since everything happened with Felicity - Oliver had barely moved from her side.

"Diggle he needs my help with something. And I think a little air might be what I need." Oliver sighed softly.

"Okay. I hope everything is okay." Donna said softly.

"I'm sure it is." Oliver said easily, though he knew he was lying on that one. Diggle had sounded strange on the phone and he knew something was most definitely wrong. "I won't be long, phone me if you need anything okay?" Oliver gave her a quick hug and headed out.

Felicity flinched when she heard the door close. Oliver was gone. She knew he would be back, but she couldn't help but feel weird knowing he wasn't there. Had he left her side since she had woken up in the hospital? He had always been outside the room if not by her bed, she could always see him, sense him. She didn't like him not being near. She pulled her arms around her as she walked out into the living room, she raised an eyebrow when she saw the extent to what her Mom had brought.

"Mom…"

"I know it's a lot, I just...I wanted you to feel comfortable." Donna said with a sheepish smile and Felicity just nodded and walked forward.

"What did you get then?" Felicity asked, she had promised Oliver that she would try so that's what she would do.

"Some clothes. I know that at your age you're really into the black clothes so I got some jumpers and some jeans, though I couldn't resist when I saw a nice purple top." Donna smiled and Felicity just nodded. "I also remember you were reading these series of books at this age...and I couldn't quite remember what ones you were on, so I just got all of them." She pointed to the books and Felicity felt a true honest smile form on her lips.

"You remembered what books I was reading?" Felicity smiled softly edging a little closer to her.

"I may not have always been there, but when I was...I did listen." Donna sighed. "I know it's not going to make up for anything…"

"It's a start." Felicity said cutting her off. She didn't want to have a heart to heart, she could feel her head starting to ache a little. "Anything else?"

"I found a computer junk store...I thought maybe tomorrow we could explore a little...and then we can go and get you one? you can rebuild it."

"Really?" Felicity asked her eyes wide.

"I know it really clears your head, and maybe having this distraction it could help you relax a little." Donna shrugged.

"That was really thoughtful of you Mom." Felicity smiled and stood up and walked over to her, she wrapped her arms around her Mom and hugged her tight.

"How about you go and have a rest, I'll bring you up some warm milk…"

"I'm not a baby." Felicity pouted. "But that sounds really good."

"I'll meet you up there in a minute." Donna smiled.

-x-

"How is she?" John asked as Oliver slumped into the foundry, his wrists bloodied and his cheek bruised.

"She's...different." Oliver sighed. They had been chasing down ghosts trying to find a lead on Damien Darhk. He had gone underground since the attack but Oliver was determined to find him. John, Thea and Laurel were doing the major headwork for it, he didn't feel guilty he just needed to be with Felicity, but they thought tonight had been a proper lead; ghosts were patrolling around different banks in the area, but all gave up too easily. Oliver thought it might have been a distraction, and as much as he wanted to chase him down now, he knew that they wouldn't have been prepared for it. The next time he came face to face with Damien Darhk, he was going to kill him.

"It's hard to imagine Felicity as a teenager." Diggle said as he grabbed the first aid box to treat Oliver's hands and face.

"She's not what I thought...I mean I knew she had the goth phase in college." Oliver shrugged. "But she seems...the spark that's in our Felicity it's not there."

"Maybe something happened after college that helped her?" Diggle suggested. "We never looked into her life."

"I would never intrude on her personal life, just like I never intruded on yours."

"I know that, but now you have the chance to talk to her, get to know this Felicity." Diggle said softly. "Maybe you can bring that spark out in her."

"Maybe." Oliver sighed. "I just miss her so much." Oliver breathed as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"I know. So do I." Diggle gave him a pat on the shoulder and finished cleaning his face. "Lucky you don't need stitches, but you're going to have one hell of a shiner."

"I'll survive." Oliver shrugged. "Don't know how I'll explain it to Felicity and Donna though."

"You'll think of something I'm sure." Diggle smiled.

"Always do." Oliver sighed. "I...I'm going to head back."

"Okay. I'll ring you if we find anything out."

"Thanks." Oliver said, really meaning it. "You know, I told Felicity about you, maybe one day you could come over and see her."

"I'd like that." Diggle nodded slowly. "Thanks."

-x-

Donna walked up to her daughter's room with the warm milk in hand and stopped at the door, she could see that Felicity was sleeping and she went to turn away and leave her be when she started to hear her whimpers. "No…" Donna frowned and stepped forward. "No please! Don't...Stop!" Felicity was tossing and turning in the bed, her legs kicking at the sheets and her hands waving in the air. Donna watched with a broken heart, she didn't know what to do. She had read that when someone was having a night terror you should never wake them, but she couldn't just sit back and watch her daughter suffer like this. Thankfully, she didn't have to wake her, Felicity kicked and screamed out a little more but with a pained scream of Oliver's name she was sitting up in the bed sobbing, and that's when Donna rushed towards her.


	7. Chapter 7

When Oliver walked back to the loft it was late and he expected Donna and Felicity to be asleep. He didn't think he would walk in and see Felicity sat on the living room floor wearing pyjama pants and one of his baggy jumpers reading a book. He reached up and rubbed a hand over his bruised cheek thinking maybe he could hide it somehow or maybe sneak past and cover it up, but before he could Felicity turned and saw him and all thoughts on his face was out of the window whence saw hers. Her face was pale, highlighted by her red rimmed eyes and the dark circles underneath them. "Felicity," he breathed and walked over to her. "What happened?"

"You're back." Felicity sighed softly and she closed her book and sat up a little. "You're hurt."

"I'm okay." Oliver shrugged it off and walked over to her slowly. "You're up late, it's almost two in the morning." Oliver sat opposite her on the floor, not too close but close enough to see just how tired and drained she looked.

"I… I had a… I couldn't fall back to sleep." Felicity said quietly. "My mom's in my room now, she's not the quietest of sleepers and I couldn't relax beside her. I thought you would be back,"

"I hadn't meant to be gone so long." Oliver said gently, guilt washing over him. Felicity had needed him and he hadn't been there for her. He was never there when she needed him.

"What happened to your face?" Felicity asked quietly, fiddling with the cover of her book. Oliver recognised it as one Donna had brought for her.

"There was a mugging. I went in to help and got hit." Oliver sighed. "looks worse than it is."

"Well it looks sore." Felicity sighed. "And it's right on the bone which means the swelling and bruising hasn't even started to form. Tomorrow I'll be surprised if you can see through that eye." She commented.

"You know a lot about facial bruising?" Oliver asked tilting his head to watch her.

"I've had my share few of bruises." Felicity mumbled quietly and pulled her legs up. "You should put ice on it." At that Felicity stood up and headed to the kitchen and started to rummage around in the freezer and then came back a few minutes later with ice in a towel. Oliver expected for her to give it to him to hold, but instead she knelt down in front of him and placed it gently against his cheek, her free hand holding the side of his face still. Oliver closed his eyes, his breath hitching as he felt her touch. He missed her so much.

"Felicity… What bruises?" Oliver asked quietly. He vaguely remembered the conversation about battle scars and Felicity having none. He hadn't thought much of it since, but now, hearing her comment he couldn't help but think she had been lying.

Felicity shook her head and looked down, Oliver hated the way her eyes were now glistening with us shed tears. "I think I had a memory." Felicity said changing the subject and Oliver looked at her.

"What do you remember?" Oliver asked softly.

"It was weird. I didn't… There was shooting." Felicity looked down and Oliver felt his blood run cold. Her first memory. The limo and the shooting. "I think we were at an office. Someone was calling for you and then there was shooting. I pushed you out of the way." She looked at him slowly, not understanding why he looked relieved as she continued to talk. "Then you grabbed me and we fell out of the window." Felicity shook her head. "It sounds too strange to be real but I think it is real."

"It is." Oliver said gently. "It was about two years ago. There was an attack at Queen Consolidated. They were after me because of something my mother had done…" He looked down. It felt like so long ago now.

"Did the police catch them?" Felicity asked as she moved away and sat back against the sofa.

"Yes." Oliver nodded.

"Okay." Felicity whispered and looked down. "I was scared. When I… I felt it all. I woke up and I could feel the glass against my skin and I could still hear the guns… I screamed and that's when my mom… I couldn't go back to sleep."

"I know how you feel." Oliver said gently. "I have nightmares too."

"You do?" Felicity whispered. She sounded so young, so scared.

"Something happened to me. A long time ago. Before I met you… I was lost on an island for five years. I saw and done some horrible things… I'm still haunted by them."

"Woah." Felicity's eyes were wide as she took in what Oliver had said. "Five years…"

"It was a long time ago. It changed who I was as a person. Made me stronger." Oliver shrugged. "But it still haunts me. But I get through it."

"How?" Felicity asked. Once again she pulled her knees to her chest and held them.

"At first I was angry. I would take my anger out on anyone I could. Then I realised i might actually have a purpose in this life. To make things right… It was dark and I did many things I regret. I hated myself. Then I met you. You brought this light into my life. Made it feel less… Dark. You told me I was hero. Made me feel like I was." Oliver wiped his eyes, not surprised to feel his hand wet.

"I did?" Felicity frowned. "I...Me?"

"Yes. You." Oliver smiled tearfully. "Thank you for sharing your nightmare with me."

"I didn't tell my Mom. I couldn't...I don't know why." Felicity sighed. "I wanted to, but the words just couldn't come out."

"As long as you speak to someone about, your Mom will understand." Oliver promised. Felicity rolled her eyes and looked down at her lap. "You and your Mom...You're not very close?"

"She's never around to be close to her." Felicity shrugged. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Okay." Oliver nodded softly. "I won't push you, but know if you ever want to talk. I'm here."

"Thank you." Felicity said with a small smile. "And you know if you want to talk...I'm here too."

"I know. Thank you." Oliver said and reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "How about we put on one of your favourite films and we can sit down here yeah?"

"You're not tired?" Felicity frowned.

"No." Oliver smiled. "You pick the film and I'll warm us up some leftover mac and cheese?"

"Okay." Felicity nodded and watched as Oliver headed towards the kitchen, she stood up and picked a film at random, smiling as she heard the microwave. She didn't know how she had grown to live with Oliver like this, but she knew she could get used to this.


	8. Chapter 8

Donna wakes up and instantly panicked when she realises that Felicity is gone. She had fallen asleep with her after the terrible nightmare, she hated that her baby girl was going through such heartache. She grabbed her dressing gown and wrapped it around her and padded downstairs, relief rushing through her when she saw Felicity asleep on the sofa, she had a blanket wrapped around her and her head was pressed against Oliver's lap. The man who Donna one day hoped would be her son-in-law, had an arm around her shoulders and his fingers were gently threading through her hair.

"Hey…" Donna said and Oliver looked up with a small smile. "Oliver...Your face."

"I'm fine." Oliver said shrugging her off. Donna just nodded slowly, she didn't believe him at all and she would talk to him about it later. "She told me about the nightmare."

"Was it about what happened?" Donna asked.

"No, it was a different memory." Oliver sighed.

"It sounded…" Donna shook her head and they fell into an uneasy silence, both looking down at Felicity who was finally at peace in her sleep.

An hour later Donna found herself making breakfast for the three of them, Oliver had showered before she had started so one of them had always been sitting with Felicity. Donna had made a comment about how much Felicity had slept at this age, the Felicity Oliver knew didn't sleep that much; she lazed in bed in the mornings but was awake early all of the time. Donna finished making some pancakes, grabbing the chocolate sauce and strawberries - Felicity's favourite. Looking up at the time she sighed quietly, she would have to wake Felicity up soon for her appointment at the hospital, she knew her daughter would fight going.

"Oliver," Donna said softly.

"Hmm?" Oliver looked up at Donna. "Time to wake her?"

"Yeah." Donna nodded. "I'll dish up breakfast." She said and walked out.

Oliver looked down at Felicity who looked so young and vulnerable in her sleep. "Felicity," he breathed quietly and rubbed her cheek softly. "Felicity, it's time to wake up." Felicity turned into his hand and blinked her eyes open, she groaned quietly and closed her eyes again and Oliver smiled softly. "Your Mom's made breakfast, and we have a busy day today. So you have to wake up."

"Don't want to." Felicity whispered.

"A few more minutes, but then we do need to get up."

"I have a headache." Felicity sighed.

"I can get you some of the painkillers the doctor left for you, but you need to eat with them." Oliver said gently.

"Kay." Felicity said quietly. "Can we...I don't want to go outside."

"Why not?" Oliver asked and watched as she slowly sat up, she looked paler than yesterday and Oliver frowned.

"I just don't." Felicity whispered. "Please..."

"We have to go sometime, you have the appointment with the therapist...and I don't think you've been writing in your journal." Felicity just sighed. "How about I phone them today and see if we can rearrange it for tomorrow? Then today we write in your journal and we get to know each other a little more."

"Thank you." Felicity nodded.

"But we will go tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Felicity nodded and pulled her knees up to her chest.

"I'll go and talk to your Mom about it." Oliver said softly and Felicity just nodded watching him go.

"Hey Donna, Felicity isn't feeling too well so we are going to reschedule the appointment for tomorrow."

"Is she okay? Should I call them…"

"She has a headache, and she looks a little pale. But I think that could be because of how she's slept. We'll keep an eye."

"Okay." Donna sighed softly.

"Why don't you go and see Quentin today?" Oliver suggested. "Just relax a little."

"I don't know...I don't want to leave her if she's not feeling well."

"I'm okay Mom." Felicity said as she walked in, she had pulled the blanket around her shoulders and she cuddled into her side. "Go out with...your boyfriend?"

"He's not...He's a friend." Donna said blushing.

"He's a good guy." Oliver said softly. "You like him."

"Doubt that." Felicity mumbled but Oliver heard it loud and clear.

"Come on let's go and have some breakfast." Donna said, "And if you're sure about me going…"

"I'm sure." Felicity said dryly and sat down at the table and started to pick at the food, but not really eating it. By the time Donna and Oliver had finished theirs, Felicity had eaten most of the strawberries and half of a pancake. "I'm going to shower."

"Okay honey." Donna said softly. "I'll see you later?"

"Have a nice time." Felicity nodded and walked out of the room.

"She's tired…"

"She's just how she was when she was fifteen, Oliver." Donna said shaking her head. "Will you do me a favour?"

"Sure." Oliver said nodding.

"Make sure she eats. When she...She didn't eat. She went to a doctor about it and everything, and she got better, but when she's stressed or upset...she...So please?"

"I'll make sure she eats." Oliver nodded softly. "Go and try and enjoy yourself."

"Thank you." Donna said and gave his shoulder a squeeze before she got ready and left.

Felicity came down a little while later, she had a pair of of leggings and a baggy jumper, her hair in a messy bun and her glasses on. Oliver was sitting at the table and smiled softly when she walked over. "Hey…"

"Hi." Felicity said softly. "I got this." She held up her journal.

"Good. Do you want some privacy whilst you write?"

"No. Please…" Felicity sighed and sat down beside him, her legs crossing and she leaned on her knees. "I don't really know what to write."

"Just write whatever comes to your mind. You don't have to show any one, it's just something to help clear your head."

"Oh…" She nodded softly and grabbed a pen and fiddled with the lid between her teeth.

"The first time I met you, you were doing that." Oliver said without thinking and Felicity raised an eyebrow and smiled at him. "Sorry."

"No...It's okay." She smiled and she started to write. Oliver didn't look, he just grabbed his phone and updated the team on Felicity's progress.

After ten minutes Felicity put her pen down and poked Oliver's arm. "I can't write anymore."

"Okay." Oliver nodded softly. "How's the head?"

"It's...It still hurts but not as bad." Felicity answered honestly.

"Want to talk?" Oliver asked softly. "I know there's...some stuff that you've not been telling me."

"Just like I know there's some stuff that you're not telling me." Felicity countered and Oliver bowed his head a little.

"How about we both tell each other something?" Oliver said after a few minutes.

"Like the question game?"

"Yes." Oliver said softly.

"I...What if I don't want to answer?" Felicity asks quietly.

"I'll never force you to." Oliver promised. "And if I don't want to answer…?"

"I won't make you either." Felicity said softly. "You can ask first."

"Okay." Oliver nodded slowly. "What's going on between you and your Mom?"

Felicity sighed and crossed her arms, she began idly picking at a loose thread on her jumper and avoided looking at Oliver. "She...She's never home. I never get to see her. I've spent the past five years at various casinos and diners after school because I'm not old enough to sit home alone, and I have no friends to hang out with. Every other month there is a new boyfriend. Some nice. Some not."

"They hurt you?" Oliver whispered and Felicity nodded slowly. "Felicity…"

"One of them...One was physical. Would push me around a little, Mom she...I never told her."

"How old were you?" Oliver asked and he was trying so hard to stay calm but he couldn't.

"Eleven." Felicity shrugged "He stuck around for a year."

"I'm so sorry you went through that." Oliver reached over and took her hand in his.

"It is what it is." Felicity shrugged and she gave his hand a little squeeze.

"Do you want to ask me something now?" Oliver asked softly.

"What...What really happened to me?" Felicity whispered and Oliver looked at her, he wanted to answer her question, he wanted to tell her. But really...he didn't know where to start.


	9. Chapter 9

"What really happened to me?" Felicity breathes and Oliver bites his lip trying to put the words together in his head. Felicity is looking at him with such intense eyes, she's silently begging for him to tell her. For him to tell her the truth. He takes a deep breath before he starts to talk.

"We're closer than...then I've led you to believe." Oliver started. "We're together, we've been edging around it for three years now, but this year we finally...we went travelling a little, we had both been through so much here that we just wanted to get away. But then after six months, we missed home, we realised this is where we should be." Oliver looked down, if only he had been firmer about not coming back then maybe none of this would have happened. "There was so much going on in the City and I had...I had this stupid idea that I could change things, so I decided to run for Mayor." Oliver looked up at Felicity who was hanging onto every word. "You were really encouraging, I don't think I would have got as far with it if it wasn't for you. There was...someone who didn't like what we stood for… We were at a Christmas, well Holiday party, turning on the Christmas lights and on the way home we were ambushed…"

"The person who didn't like what you stood for?" Felicity asked when Oliver stopped talking.

"Yes." Oliver looked down. "He cornered us off, and he had men who shot us through the car… I managed to get us out. I just failed to keep you safe."

"You got us out?" Felicity asked, her eyes watering. She could picture everything that Oliver was saying and her body started to shake.

"Yes." Oliver nodded and he sat closer and pulled her into his arms holding her tightly. "I've got you. It's okay."

"But…" Felicity sobbed and she couldn't really explain why she was crying, her head was pounding and she clung to Oliver.

"It's okay. I...Maybe I shouldn't have told you yet."

"I'm glad you told me." Felicity whispered as her sobs subsided. Oliver just nodded, he didn't know if he had done the right thing, he knew it could make Felicity feel more nervous and scared, but selfishly he felt lighter, like he was holding something back and now he was finally being truthful. Yes, there was several things he was still holding back, but not as much as before.

"Felicity," Oliver whispered a few minutes later, he looked down and saw that her eyes were closed and she had fallen asleep against him. Smiling shyly, Oliver brushed her hair from her face and wiped her tears, she leaned into his touch and cuddled closer. Grabbing the blanket from the top of the sofa, he draped it around her and leaned back against the chair keeping her against him. He missed holding her like this.

Donna walked in a few hours later and smiled when she saw Felicity and Oliver curled up together on the sofa, it reminded her of the first time she came and visited them in their home, how they were clearly working something out, but then she had walked in on them cuddling and she knew, she just knew that they were going to be okay. She closed the door quietly not wanting to disturb them and went to the kitchen to start on making an early dinner. Twenty minutes later there was a knock at the door and Donna frowned, they hadn't been expecting anyone. She opened the door and smiled when she saw Oliver and Felicity's friend, Diggle standing there.

"Mr Diggle…"

"Please, call me Diggle." John smiled. "I'm sorry to just drop in, but Oliver wasn't answering his phone and I just wanted to make sure everyone was okay."

"Come in." She smiled and John looked a little hesitant but with some encouragement from Donna she led him in. "They're asleep. Coffee?"

"I wouldn't want to intrude." John said sheepishly.

"You're not." Donna smiled and led him to the kitchen, walking past the sleeping couple quietly.

"Oliver normally answers his phone, no matter if he's sleeping or not."

"I think he hasn't been sleeping at all," Donna said as she busied herself and John a coffee.

"And now he's finally at peace and is sleeping." He says and Donna nods softly.

Once the coffee is made they sit down at the table together and enjoy their coffee in a companionable silence, it's comfortable and they both are so lost in their thoughts that they don't hear the gentle pat of Felicity's bare feet on the floor as she walks in.

"Oh." She frowns and John turns and looks at her, a small smile playing on his lips as he takes her in. Her hair is in a messy bun and she's wearing pyjamas and a blanket wrapped around her. She looks so young. "Hi?"

"Hi Felicity…" John smiles and stands up. "I know you don't know who I am, but I'm a friend of yours and Oliver. You call me Diggle."

"Diggle." Felicity tests it on her tongue and smiles shyly.

"How are you feeling?" Diggle asks and watches as she goes and sits down.

"My head hurts, and I'm just...I was shot...a lot." Felicity sighed. "It's like I can suddenly feel it."

"You remembered…?" Donna gasped.

"Huh? No. Oliver told me. We played a game. Truth." Felicity said dismissing her Mom with a wave of her hand.

"I know what you mean." Diggle said softly. "When I served I was shot in the shoulder. I woke up after an explosion and couldn't remember what happened. I was in pain and confused, my amnesia wasn't anything like yours, but the moment I realised I had been shot it was like I remembered the bullet going in."

"It hurts huh?" Felicity said and Donna couldn't believe that she was smiling about it.

"Like a bitch." John grinned.

"Want to stay for dinner?" Felicity asked.

"If…"

"My Mom's making pasta." Felicity says looking at the ingredients Donna had already set out.

"Sounds good." John said and Felicity grinned in return.

"Hey…" Oliver frowned as he walked in. At first when he woke up he had been confused, he couldn't remember falling asleep, but the second he was awake he missed feeling Felicity so close to him. When he saw John standing in the kitchen his first thought was that something had happened, but he dismissed that thought as soon as he saw how relaxed Diggle looked.

"I came to check in, and now I'm staying for dinner." John said his eyes silently asking if that was okay.

"Oh okay." Oliver said and smiled. "Sounds good. What are we having?"

"Pasta." Felicity and Diggle said at the same time and Oliver knew that they were going to have a good evening, or at least he hoped they were.


	10. Chapter 10

"Listen man, I just came by to check up on you guys, when you didn't answer...I can go." John said, Felicity had left the kitchen to go and get changed and Donna was setting the table.

"Honestly, It's fine." Oliver said with a small smile. A part of him felt relieved that John would be staying with them for dinner, he couldn't describe why, but there was definitely something about having John around them, it was as though he calmed Felicity's mood swings down. Oliver wished that he could have that effect on her too, but he knew that he would take time.

"How was she when you told her the truth?" John asked.

"Took it better than anyone else would." Oliver said and he knew it was the truth. "Felicity is one of the strongest people I know. We go out every night, we get injured and...but she handles it all better than any of us."

"I know." John nodded softly. "Whatever happens next, we will deal with together okay?"

"Thank you." Oliver said softly, and he felt lighter just hearing that.

Felicity came back downstairs changed into a pair of skinny jeans and a hooded jumper, Oliver smiled and watched as she nervously sat down beside John. Oliver dished out everyone's pasta and helped Donna serve it before he sat down beside Felicity. "So, John what do you do for work?" Felicity asked.

"Security." John smiled. "And I'm Oliver's driver."

"You can't drive yourself?" Felicity turned to Oliver with a raised eyebrow.

Chuckling, Oliver shrugged. "I drive myself now...well, I drive my own bike."

"Bike? That's cool." Felicity nodded. "Back home, I remember helping this kid add a motor to his push bike."

"Yeah?" Oliver smiled, glad that Felicity was sharing.

"I was five, he was seven. I remember dad was so mad because I used one of his parts, I didn't realise how strong the motor was, and I tried the bike first and it crashed into a tree." Felicity grinned.

"What happened to the bike?" John asked curiously.

"It was trashed." Felicity shrugged. Oliver turned to look at Donna who had gone unnaturally quiet, she was staring into her pasta bowl, a deep look on her face. "Dad was so pissed, but not really."

"He was proud of you." Donna said softly. "He boasted to all of his friends, his little girl was so clever look what she had done. All i thought was you could have died."

"But I didn't…" Felicity countered.

"You had to go to hospital." Donna said. "Concussion."

"Guess I'm prone to head injuries." Felicity sighed and looked down.

"Felicity…" Donna sighed but Felicity turned back to John.

"So back to your exciting career as Oliver's driver?" Felicity hummed.

Oliver looked at Donna finally catching her eye and silently asked if she was okay, he knew why Felicity at her mental age was horrible to her Mom and he hated it. Donna just bowed her head and turned back to her pasta, both of them missing whatever John said that had made Felicity laugh. Oliver was surprised to see Felicity actually eat, John had set the same pace at eating as the younger woman, and as they spoke they both took a mouthful of food and spoke some more.

"Dinner was really nice Mom." Felicity said softly, had she realised how cold she had been to her Mom? Oliver hoped so.

"I'm glad you liked it honey. There's some ice cream if you want pudding?"

"I don't think I could eat another thing. I don't want older me to be pissed at me if I make her fat and then all those swanky dresses wont fit older me anymore." Felicity rambled and John and Oliver just grinned - that was the Felicity they both missed.

"Well between you and me," John whispered. "Older Felicity has a real thing for big belly burger, I'm sure she would understand."

"Big Belly burger?" Felicity asked.

"It's your favourite." Oliver smiled.

"I don't remember…" Felicity sighed and looked down.

"Well how about tomorrow, after we go to your appointment, we can go for lunch?" Oliver asked.

"Okay." Felicity nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

"What appointment?" John asked softly.

"I have to see a shrink." Felicity grinned and tapped her head. "Cause you know…"

"I bet they asked you to make a diary too?" John smiled.

"You too?"

"When I came back, PTSD…" John said and Oliver raised an eyebrow, how did he not know this about his friend? "It was really helpful though. You should go and make the most of it."

"I can't imagine you laying on your bed writing a diary," Felicity smirked.

"Neither could I. But believe me. It does work." John said and patted her shoulder tenderly.

"I started today. With Oliver." Felicity sighed. "Got a few pages...but I don't know if it's right or not."

"It's not a test, Felicity. It's just your thoughts and your feelings. There is no right or wrong answer to those."

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Felicity asked softly.

"Nothing," John shrugged.

"Want to come with me and Oliver for big belly burger?" Felicity smiled.

John looked over at Oliver to see what his friend thought of the suggestion. He really didn't want him to feel as though he was stepping on his toes, because that wasn't the case. He was just trying to be a friend to Felicity.

"That's a really nice idea." Oliver said before John could say anything.

"I know." Felicity nodded. "Mom? You want to come too?"

"I'd like that." Donna smiled.

"Cool." Felicity nodded and tried her best to hide a yawn behind her hand but Oliver caught her.

"I think it's time to call it a night." Oliver said softly.

"Kay." Felicity sighed. "Thank you for staying for dinner." She leaned over and pressed a kiss to John's cheek. "See you tomorrow." She turned to Oliver and wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek too and did the same to her Mom before she headed upstairs feeling a lot lighter than she could remember. That night she slept soundly with no nightmares, just random images flashing in her mind of Oliver and her in some sort of jungle, he was topless and covered in scars and she was on a landmine and suddenly in his arms flying through the trees. She put it down as having too much sugar during the day, not really knowing what they all meant.


	11. Chapter 11

"How are you feeling Felicity?" Doctor Walker asked. Felicity sighed, tucking her legs underneath her and sitting crossed legged on the sofa, she had her journal in her lap and looked at the Doctor with a raised eyebrow. "I know it's a stupid question, but I thought I would start easy."

"My head has been hurting a little." Felicit said honestly, she had made a promise to her Mom, Oliver and Diggle that she would be honest. "And I've been having these weird dreams, which just confuse me. One of them was a memory, and when I asked Oliver about it, it was like I could actually picture it a lot clearer. I didn't feel anything from it though. It was like I was just watching a film. A very bullet friendly film."

"It will take a while for you to get your feelings back." Doctor Walker nodded. "I understand Oliver told you the truth?"

"About what happened to me?" Felicity sighed, and the doctor just nodded again. "Yes."

"How do you feel about that?"

"What do you mean?" Felicity frowned. "How would you feel knowing that the reason why you were seriously hurt was because you were attacked with yet more bullets in a limo?"

"I think I would feel scared."

"Well there you go." Felicity sighed, idly picking at the corners of her journal. "I am scared. I don't understand why someone would want to kill me and Oliver. Oliver said it was to do with his mayoral vote. But who would do that just for mayor? It's not like it's the Presidency."

"People would do a lot for power, Felicity."

"Well that's cryptic." Felicity smirked and Doctor Walker smiled.

"Have you spoken to them about feeling scared?" Doctor Walker asked.

"No, but I think Oliver knows." Felicity shrugged.

"And how are you handling being fifteen?" He asked and Felicity frowned at the question, she was certain that it made no sense. "Your emotions now, they must be all over the place?"

"I guess. I mean yeah they are." Felicity said softly. "They feel fresher, like it's a cut that had been healed and now it's raw again."

"Because that's most likely what it is." Doctor Walker nodded softly. "You had healed past these feelings, and now your mind is right back into it, it needs to adapt to them. We can talk about what's bothering you?"

"My Mom." Felicity looked down, her hands now picking at her nails instead of the journal. "I know that future me has forgiven her for everything. I've seen pictures of us happy, and I'm glad, I really am glad about it. But...There's this piece of me that hates her. And maybe hate isn't the right word because I will always love her, but how could I grow up around her boyfriends who hurt me and she didn't even know? Or maybe she did know, and she ignored it? I don't know. Maybe I don't tell her what she did, and we work something out? But I don't know how to go from this to that. And I don't know what she expects from me." Felicity didn't know when she had started to cry but all she felt was that she couldn't stop.

"Maybe now is the time to talk to her, be honest and tell her everything?"

"It would destroy her." Felicity sniffled.

"I don't think it would. She'll be upset, she'll blame herself yes. But like you said, you two have a good relationship now, this could be just what you need to heal what you have now."

"I…" Felicity looks down. "I'll think about it."

"I think we are done for today,"

"But we haven't been here for the whole hour." Felicity frowned looking up at the clock.

"I know, but we have made good progress." Doctor Walker smiled. "I'll let you freshen up in the bathroom just through there and I'll go and tell your family that we're done for the day."

"You won't tell them what I…"

"No. That is completely confidential between you and me." He promised.

"Thank you." Felicity smiled and headed towards the bathroom slowly.

Doctor Walker walked out to see Oliver waiting in the waiting room, he was on his phone texting someone frantically. "Mr Queen?"

"Oliver." Oliver said softly and Doctor Walker smiled. "Is Felicity okay?"

"She had a very productive session. I'm going to cut it short today, I don't want to put her under too much pressure."

"Okay." Oliver nodded. "But it was good?"

"Yes, she spoke about some issues, and she is making good progress." He nodded. "She did get a little upset during our session, so maybe not push her too much today."

"I would never push her into anything." Oliver said softly.

"I know." He nodded.

Felicity walked out, her eyes were a little red but she had a small smile on her face when she saw Oliver. She instantly rushed over and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"Hey," Oliver whispered and rubbed her back gently. "I hear you did really well today."

"I did." Felicity nodded and wiped her eyes against her hand.

"I'm proud of you." Oliver said and gently brushed his fingers through her hair so it was away from her face.

"You are?" Felicity frowned, moving back and looking up at him with wide eyes.

"I am." Oliver nodded. "Do you still want to go for lunch?"

"Yes." Felicity nodded. "I really want a milkshake. A chocolate one."

"Well let's go then." Oliver smiled and held his hand out for her, he didn't know why he did it, but he was glad when she took his hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "Thank you doctor."

"Thank you." Felicity chorused. "See you Monday."

The walk to Big Belly burger was mostly silent, Felicity would occasionally commenting on something that she sees, or asks a random question. Diggle and Donna were waiting for them in a booth, and Felicity instantly rushed over and hugged them both before sliding in beside Diggle and sending a small smile to her Mom. "Everything okay?" Donna asked.

"Everything's good." Felicity nodded and reached for the menu to have a look at what to eat. Diggle chuckling softly beside her. "What's so funny?"

"You looking through the menu." Diggle smiled. "The one by work, well they know your order by heart."

"Well why didn't we go there because then this would have been a lot easier." She gestured to the menu.

"We thought it might be hard for you having a lot of people over whelm you." Oliver pressed gently.

"That's probably true." Felicity nodded. "Can I have the classic with fries and a chocolate milkshake please?"

"Course." Oliver nodded.

"Is that my normal?" Felicity asked Diggle once Oliver had taken what the others wanted and went to order.

"It is." Diggle chuckled. "Though you normally ask for extra pickles."

"Really?" Felicity pulled a face.

"You don't like pickles?" Diggle grins.

"I guess my tastes have changed." She smiled.

"That's normal." Diggle nodded.

"I was thinking Mom, maybe you and me could do something tonight? Just the two of us?" Felicity asked looking at Donna.

"That sounds great, anything you want." Donna grinned and Felicity smiled at the relieved expression on her face. Maybe they could make this work?

Lunch was nice. Felicity chatted happily about things she liked, she loved the milkshake and asked for another one to go home and Donna happily agreed. Though the milkshake wasn't the healthiest thing in the world, it made Felicity smile and that's all they all wanted. Oliver watched throughout the meal as Felicity ate, once again Diggle matched her pace and Oliver did the same and she had eaten pretty much most of it. Something that made Donna smile.

When Oliver's phone started to ring Felicity smiled at him, telling him it was okay and to answer it. Oliver wished he hadn't. It was his campaign again, wanting him to go in for a meeting. "You should go," Felicity said softly.

"I should?" Oliver frowned.

"Yes, because you need to go and make sure your campaign is going okay." Felicity nodded. "I don't think future me would want you to screw your chances of getting your City because of me." She sighed looking down.

"It would never be because of you." Oliver promised and leaned in and kissed her hair. "But okay, I'll go."

"And obviously your driver will need to drive you." Felicity grinned looking at Diggle who rolled his eyes.

"We will do this again soon though?" Diggle said softly.

"You bet." Felicity nodded. "See you at home Oliver."

"See you at home." Oliver grinned.

"Then there were two." Felicity smiled at her Mom.

"How about we get our milkshakes to go and we head home?" Donna asked.

"Okay." Felicity nodded. When they get home, she would tell her everything that had been bothering her, and she just hoped it would go okay.


	12. Chapter 12

Felicity sat down on the sofa, crossing her legs and holding her milkshake in her hands. Her stomach felt sick and she didn't know if she could muster the courage to have this conversation, she knew she had to, she just didn't know where to start. Donna sat opposite her and smiled softly. "Mom…"

"Yes sweetie?" Donna said with a gentle smile on her lips and Felicity looked down. "What is it baby?"

"Did we...We're close right? I mean, when...Big me? We're...We're close?"

"Closer than ever." Donna nodded and reached forward and took her hand in hers.

"Did we ever talk about...anything?" Felicity asked, her eyes wide and blue. Donna frowned and shook her head.

"No, something happened between you and one of your ex boyfriends, he wasn't that nice of guy and well since that happened we've been very close."

"What happened?" Felicity asked, she didn't know what to think about a future boyfriend turning out to be not a nice person.

"He wanted to hurt you by hurting me, but he didn't." Donna assured her when she saw the scared look on her face. "We were both okay, and since that...we've been stronger than ever."

"Oh." Felicity nodded, she guessed that explained a lot. She knew if something really bad was to happen between her and her Mom where she thought she would have lost her this conversation wouldn't need to happen. But then that hadn't happened to her, and she felt that she needed to still have this conversation.

"Whatever you want to tell me Felicity, please, just tell me. You're starting to worry me." Donna said coaxing her gently.

"I don't know how long I'm going to be like this...Do...And I'm glad that me and you are okay in...when I'm big, but for me right now, I can't...I need...When I was younger, you know we drifted apart."

"I know baby, I regret it so much." Donna breathed. "I love you so much, I always have done." Donna said and Felicity nodded.

"I know." Felicity sighed. "I'm not telling you this to hurt you, but...I just want to move on...And...Please I'm not blaming you for anything okay?"

"Felicity…"

"One of your boyfriends." Felicity said looking down, her eyes already watering as she tried to hold herself together. "Craig, he was the second boyfriend you had after dad. He moved in really quickly, I could tell how much you liked him. When you started to work late...he would…"

"Felicity…" Donna's voice was shaky and she could see just how much Felicity was struggling to get this out, and a part of her didn't want to hear any of this.

"It lasted for two months, just touches here and there, when you broke up with him it stopped and I never saw him again." Felicity wiped her eyes, she really didn't want to cry. Donna moved forward and pulled her into her arms holding her tight. "The next one, he was so nice to me, and so was the one after that and I didn't want to tell you because I was okay and everything was fine. Then you started to work more and more and I missed you so much Mom. It felt that when you weren't at work you were out looking for another man...and then the next one, he hurt me. If i didn't tidy up or if I was late for school or late home, or just breathed wrong and you weren't around. By then I was fourteen and couldn't hide my anger, you just thought i was going goth, you would tell me I should wear pretty dresses, but I couldn't. I was just...I saved up for college, made sure I wasn't around the house as much. Then I left."

"Felicity…"

"I don't...I'm not expecting you to say anything Mom. I just...I needed to tell you."

"I'm so sorry." Donna breathed and pulled her so close against her that Felicity was sure she was going to stop breathing at some point. "I don't…"

"It's okay Mom." Felicity sighed as she buried her face in her shoulder as her Mom held her.

"It is not okay. It...I should have known." Donna breathed. "I am…"

"Sorry, I know." Felicity sighed and pulled back. "I forgive you Mom. I was never...I never blamed you...I don't...I just was angry at everything and now I'm trying to understand how we are close, and I guess I know the answer now, but I just...We're okay?"

"Oh my darling, we are okay. We are more than okay, and I will do everything I can to make it up to you."

"You don't have to make anything up to me, Mom. I just want us...I just want us to be okay."

"And we are." Donna promised and pressed a kiss to her daughter's hair.

When Oliver walked in two hours later, he smiled at the scene he was greeted with. Felicity and Donna fast asleep on the sofa, a bad film playing quietly on the television and Donna was holding Felicity so protectively. Oliver walked around and grabbed a blanket and tucked it over them both and stroked the hair out of Felicity's face and gently pulled her glasses from her face. Just as he was about to move away he stopped in his tracks as he heard something that made his heart ache. "Love you Oliver." Felicity breathed.


	13. Chapter 13

_It's weird. The room she's standing in. It's light but dark with almost a clinical feel to it. She's standing in the centre looking around. There's computers and systems in a row and it looks like it should be familiar to her. Her eyes move to the mannequins against the far wall, three of them with nothing on. It's empty here and she sucks her bottom lip, chewing it nervously as she wills her feet to move. Finally they do and her heels clatter across the floor, it sounds louder than it should. Each step a loud drum beat. She walks around trying to figure out just where the hell she is. It's like she knows but she can't quite place it. A door opens and she's frozen to the spot, footsteps louder than hers thump down metal stairs and she wants to move but she's stuck._

" _Felicity… What are you doing down here?" A mechanical voice sends shivers down her spine and she wants to run now. "Felicity…" It's coming closer now and she turns to see a green hooded figure standing in front of her. He's all leather and crossbows and Felicity thinks she should be scared now, but that feeling has passed. He reaches up and presses a button on his suit and then his voice changes when he speaks again. "Felicity…" She knows that voice and a gasp escapes her mouth. He moves the hood and pulls off the mask and she's staring into such familiar eyes and she feels like she's at home but she doesn't know what that means right now._

Felicity sits up panting. She turns a little to take in her surroundings and she relaxes just a little when she sees that she's in her bed. But it doesn't make her feel completely better. She's in a bed that she shares with Oliver. The green hooded figure in her dreams. She looks at the clock, almost three in the morning. It's too late to demand answers from Oliver. He might actually think she is crazy if she tells him about the dream. She catches her breath and puts the light on. "It was just a dream." She tells herself as she reaches for her laptop. "Just a weird dream from all this pain medication. Oliver is definitely not a leather clad Robin Hood."

Felicity doesn't really know what she's searching for, she's avoided looking at recent events because she knows that it's just going to upset her. But now she loads the daily news and gasps when she sees the leather man from her dreams on the first article on the page. There's a picture of him in combat against army looking men, Felicity doesn't know why but just looking at them gives her chills. "Oliver." She whispers as she stares at the picture of him, and she knows now that her dream was true, Oliver was 'The Arrow'. She groaned as she felt her head begin to ache, too much confusing information was making her feel sick.

Standing up she pulled on her slippers and a baggy jumper and padded downstairs slowly, she could hear faint snores coming from the sofa and she smiled despite her thoughts at how peaceful Oliver looked asleep on the sofa. How could this man that had been so kind to her be such a killer? She shook her head and went to the kitchen and found her prescribed painkillers and grabbed two with some water before she headed back upstairs. After taking the pills she grabbed her cell and sighed. She wanted to talk to someone but she didn't know who. If she woke up Oliver now she knew her emotions would get the better of her and really she had no actual idea what to say to him.

She found the number she needed and knew it was probably stupid because it was the early hours of the morning and there was no way Diggle would answer now. "Felicity…" A tired voice on the phone made her jump.

"Oh crap." Felicity groaned because now she had clearly woken him up and she really didn't know what to say.

"You okay?" Diggle asked gently, there was a murmured conversation and Felicity sighed, Diggle had a wife and child and now she's disturbed their whole evening.

"I… Yeah… I don't know why I phoned I just wanted someone to talk to." Felicity said quietly pulling her blanket up over her knees and cuddling it.

"That's okay, did you have a nightmare?" Movement now, Diggles out of bed and heading away from his sleeping wife.

"More of a memory I guess." Felicity said quietly.

"What did you remember?" Diggle asked and his voice was so soft and gentle that it put her completely at ease.

"About Oliver being the Arrow." Felicity whispered.

"Felicity…" Diggle breathed.

"There's no hiding it. I guess I assume you know because you're his best friend. Well I mean can the green arrow have friends?"

"Yes. He does. Lots of them and you've been his friend from the start."

"I have?" Felicity sighed.

"Yes. But that's a story for him to tell you." Diggle said softly.

"Did… My accident was it because Oliver was the Arrow?" Felicity asked quietly.

"It happened because Oliver is a good man and he was trying to make a difference as Oliver Queen, so no, your cause the wasn't because he was the Arrow. It was because you were with the man you loved."

"Oh." Felicity said quietly. Did that make her feel better? Did it make a difference? She had no idea it just put more questions in her head.

"I'm here for you to get your head around this Felicity, I know you're scared right now, but you know deep down in your heart, he's a good man."

"I know," Felicity whispered, and it was the truth, she really did know that. "I'm tired Dig."

"I'll stay on the phone until you fall asleep." Diggle said gently, and Felicity nodded despite him not being able to see him. She settled back onto the bed and pulled her blankets up and closed her eyes. "He is a good man, Felicity and he cares so much about you."

"I care about him too." Felicity sighed tiredly.

"I know you do, Felicity." Diggle hummed.

"Thank you." Felicity yawned before the tiredness and painkillers kicked in and she fell asleep with the phone balancing on her face. Diggle stayed on the line for ten minutes just listening to make sure she was okay before he hung up and went back to bed, he thought about texting Oliver - giving him some warning, but he knew Felicity needed to do this in her own way, her own time, so he just closed his eyes and hoped everything would be okay for his best friends, because they really did deserve it.


	14. Chapter 14

Oliver walked into the loft after his run, it was just past eight and he was expecting everyone to still be asleep, what he hadn't expected was to see Donna head out with a smile saying Felicity had insisted that she go and surprise Lance with breakfast.

"Felicity…" Oliver called as he walked in.

"Kitchen." Came the shouted response and Oliver followed the voice, quietly wishing that the young girl wasn't in the kitchen cooking.

"Hey," Oliver smiled when he saw her sitting at the table with her journal, a mug of coffee beside her and thankfully no sign of any food being cooked.

"Nice run?" Felicity asked looking up, her eyes lingering just a little on his muscles and the sweat running across them. She still couldn't believe that this was her fiance, a man that she could kiss and touch at any time. Well, if she remembered that. Knowing something and not remembering it made her head hurt and she wanted to take a painkiller and have a lie down, but she needed to speak to Oliver.

"Yeah." Oliver nods. "It relaxes me. I've been telling you for ages to come and join me on a run."

"I'd never be able to keep up." Felicity said naturally and Oliver smiled softly, that was always the response he got from her. He knew her memory was slowly coming back to her through the little things she said and did, he was just waiting for her to remember completely.

"I'd go slow." Oliver smiled sliding in opposite her. "Hungry?"

"I fancy pancakes. I've made the batter it's in the fridge."

"You didn't cook them?"

"Nope. I always burn them." Felicity sighs. "Thought you could do it for us?"

"Sounds good. Let me shower real quick?"

"Sure." Felicity nodded.

"See you in a bit." Oliver said and rubbed her shoulder a little on the way out, not missing the way she sighed softly and relaxed into his touch.

An hour later found Oliver and Felicity finishing up their pancakes in a companionable silence at the kitchen table. "So." Felicity said once she had finished. "I want to talk to you."

"Okay." Oliver nodded.

"I…" Felicity looked down, she had felt so confident earlier. She had shooed her mom away so she could have the house to herself. She had made pancakes in hope to have the conversation over breakfast. And now she was running out of options. She needed to talk to him. She needed to tell him that she knew the truth, she just didn't know how.

"Whatever it is you can tell me." Oliver said softly. "Or you could write it down in your journal?"

"I don't think what I want to say you would want me to write in my journal." Felicity sighed.

"What do you mean?" Oliver frowned.

"Okay...I...So last night I...I had this dream...And it was confusing but enlightening at the same time. It was a memory. A memory that terrified me at first. A memory that made me...it made me scared of you." Felicity looked down. "Then I spoke to Diggle and he told me the truth."

"Felicity…" Oliver whispered.

"I know that you're the arrow." Felicity said quietly.

"You…"

"You didn't tell me." Felicity said looking down.

"I know." Oliver sighed. "And I don't regret not telling you. You needed to find out on your own."

"I know." Felicity nodded. "I just...I don't like that you were hiding things from me."

"I'm sorry." Oliver said gently.

"You're a hero." Felicity said looking up at him with a gentle smile. "I'm engaged to a hero?"

"You're a hero too." Oliver smiled. "You are the brains of the operation Felicity. What I do...I could never ever do without you."

"Me?" Felicity frowned looking down.

"Yes, you." Oliver smiled. "You help me and Dig. You have pretty much from the beginning."

"I don't see me being a hero Oliver."

"You don't fight, though you can. Diggle's been training you a little and you can hold your own. But you do help, you find the guys for us, you make links before me and Diggle even know what's happening."

"Really?" Felicity smiled.

"Yes. Not to mention you're president of your own company." Oliver smiled. "A Company that you love and misses you."

"I...can...I want to see it all." Felicity said softly.

"Okay, we can go today?" Oliver asked.

"Okay." Felicity nodded. "I...Can Diggle come?"

"Of course." Oliver smiled. "Diggle is a great friend to you."

"And to you." Felicity smiled. "He's the reason I'm not kicking your ass for being the green arrow."

"He'd probably help you if you really wanted to do that." Oliver chuckled. "Go and get dressed and we can go on a tour."

"Thank you." Felicity smiled and headed up to her room.

Oliver sat down at the table and smiled. He knew that Felicity was remembering, but he knew that she was scared of what her future held for her, he also knew he would do everything in his power to show her she had nothing to be scared of and hopefully soon he would have his fiance back.


	15. Chapter 15

"Why are we at a campaign office?" Felicity frowned as she walked in with Oliver. The drive to office had been quiet, both of them nervous about what would happen once they got there. Oliver wasn't naive to think as soon as Felicity saw the foundry everything would go back to normal, yes he had secretly hoped that it would be the case but he knew better than to give into hope.

"That's what Diggle, Thea and Laurel said when we first brought them here." Oliver smiled fondly at the memory and held his hand out for Felicity, she was a little hesitant but reached out and took it after a moment.

"We brought them here?" Felicity asked curiously.

"This wasn't our first base." Oliver explained. "Our first one well...that was under a nightclub and didn't end well." Oliver chuckled at the look on Felicity's face when he had said it was under a club. "This one was actually your idea."

"Mine?" Felicity creased her eyebrows and Oliver knew that she was really trying to remember, and he wanted to tell her to relax that it would come naturally, but he knew he had to let her get to that discovery on her own.

"Yeah, you knew we needed a foundry where it wouldn't look strange for me to constantly be near." Oliver smiled and now hand in hand they walked through the office that he hadn't been in for a while.

"It looked like you were doing some good here." Felicity said as she looked around the office looking at the discarded posters for his campaign.

"I think I was." Oliver sighed.

"You're not running anymore?"

"No." Oliver said with a shake of his head. "I have more important things to do."

"As the Arrow?" Felicity frowned.

"As Oliver." He said softly. "I want to be close to you. I want to be there for you whilst you recover."

"But you've just left your whole campaign." Felicity said shaking her head.

"You're more important to me." Oliver said his tone telling Felicity that there was no room to argue. "And without the campaign there is less for me to focus on so all of my energy is on Darkh."

"The man…"

"Who hurt you? Yes. I need to stop him."

"And you will."

"I'm not so sure." Oliver sighed and it was the first time that he had ever admitted it to anyone.

"Oliver." Felicity whispered pulling him close to her.

"I've faced a lot of bad people Felicity. But I've never come across anyone like him. For the first time I don't think I can stop him."

"I think that he's strong and that's scared you, he's got power, but so have you." Felicity said and gently ran her fingers through his hair. "I believe in you, Oliver."

"Thank you." Oliver wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. Even though he had her in his arms, he missed his Felicity so much. "Come on let's go down."

"Is it weird that I'm nervous?" Felicity asked as they stepped into the elevator.

"I think that's normal." Oliver grinned. Their hands still connected, his fingers gently running across hers. "If you remember anything, even if it's just a feeling, you'll let me know?"

"Of course." Felicity nodded softly.

"Thank you."

"What for?" Felicity asked, she hadn't done anything for him.

"For trusting me." Oliver said simply.

Once the elevator doors opened Felicity took a deep breath and looked out into the bright room, it's different to her dream, bigger, brighter, lighter. "This isn't the one I saw." Felicity said walking through slowly.

"Maybe you remembered the old one?" Oliver offered.

"It was smaller, darker." Felicity nodded.

"Yeah. The last one was just whatever I had left from my trust fund." Oliver shrugged. "You paid for most of this."

"I still can't believe I have that sort of money." Felicity said shaking her head.

"I know." Oliver smiled. "But you do amazing things with it."

"From the look of my closet I also buy lots of dresses."

"I like the dresses too." Oliver chuckled and Felicity just rolled her eyes.

"This is your domain." Oliver hummed as he took Felicity by the hand and led her to her chair, he sat her down and rubbed her shoulders a little. "This is where you're the hero."

Felicity nodded slowly running her hands along the dashboard and looked up at Oliver and then back at the controls.

 _Felicity sits at the computer, her heart pounding as she listens to the sounds of Oliver fighting a group of attackers, they had been attacking a young girl on her way home from school. "Oliver the police are on their way." Felicity said into the headset as she typed furiously informing the police of what was happening._

" _Got it." Oliver's mechanical voice said and Felicity heard him wince, she wished that this area had security cameras so she could see what was happening, though she really wasn't too sure if this was something she actually wanted to see. Hearing it was bad enough. Heavy punching sounds rang through her ears, and just as she heard sirens there was a loud gunshot and Felicity gripped the desk tightly._

" _Oliver!" She shouted. "Oliver please tell me you're okay!" There was a deadly silence and Felicity was typing frantically now, calling out for Oliver over and over again, until finally she heard his muffled voice._

" _I'm okay." He panted and Felicity collapsed back against the chair, she removed her glasses and wiped her eyes tiredly. Her heart finally calming down. "Felicity…?"_

" _I'm here." Felicity whispered._

" _I'm on my way back to you."_

"Felicity," Oliver called when he noticed the faraway look in Felicity's eyes, "Felicity are you with me?"

"I...I'm here." Felicity said shaking her head and blinking up at Oliver.

"What did you remember?" Oliver asked crouching down and looking at her gently.

"I remembered the first time I knew I loved you." Felicity whispered and wrapped her arms tightly around him, the feelings so raw inside her as she held onto him, never wanting to let go.


End file.
